My Unbelievable World

Photo 238Notes

(Source: jairrrito)

Photo 131758Notes

Via Beautiful Scars.

Chat 78397Notes

Bee: Hi there friend! How are you today? I'm just doing my job, pollinating flowers and all, no need to be afraid of me, I'm just happy I get to enjoy this wonderful weather with you.
Wasp: Oh hey motherfucker, wanna go? I swear I will kill any cunt stupid enough to get 3 feet near me, I can sting you, and it will be the nastiest feeling you've had in awhile. Buzz Buzz, asshole. Bet that hurts doesn't it? Stupid fuck.

Via Rainbow Jizz ;D

Photo 6030Notes

Via Rainbow Jizz ;D

(Source: pyssqaa)

Photo 5742Notes

Via Beautiful Scars.

Chat 145134Notes

*Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on holy shit
*Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone I'm sure they know about when I smoked that one time
*Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
*Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer

Via Rainbow Jizz ;D

Photo 109667Notes

Via Keke Horan

Follow Thisbitchatemycookie.tumblr.com

Follow Thisbitchatemycookie.tumblr.com

Chat 63469Notes

Me: I hate you all, you're all idiots.
Me: Why is that person staring at me.
Me: Omg what would happen if a man just burst in the room with a gun. I would totally be the heroic person who sacrifices themselves for others.
Me: No I don't know the answer to this question. Oh god, the teacher's going to call on me. My hand is not raised. Oh god oh god oh god, leave me alone. Act busy, just act busy. Abort mission, I repeat, abort mission.
Me: My stomach jut growled. When the fuck is lunch.
Me: We should make a class Hunger Games. Where everyone dies.
Me: AND NOW MY PENCILS BREAKING, AND YOU ONLY WANT ME WHEN I'M TAAAKENNNN.
Me: No, seriously, never open your mouth again.
Me: Ew, my teacher has children. They're sexually active. I wonder when they had sex for the first time. I wonder if they did drugs as a teenager. I totally bet they did.
Me: Yeah, no, if a man walked in with a gun, I totally wouldn't sacrifice myself for these idiots. I would hide under my desk and tell him to just take them all.
Me: Seriously, it's only been a minute.
Me: I will never use this shit in my life.